perception is reality, but sometimes your reality becomes dependent on how people perceive you. your reality can become limited by the definitions that people adhere to you through no fault or vote of your own. you find yourself double- checking the clarity of every statement you make, only to find out you've been put on mute. is there something worse than being misunderstood?
ignored. and then you might say
fuck everyone else
and fuck myself too if my reality and self-worth are so steeped in my need to be recognized. and then you realize that you've discovered the philosophy behind being a woman.
that circle with a barbed tail, that little symbolic road sign to evil-
you’ll only ever be known and defined based on your relation to those around you. if those around you are male, you will be referred to as their possession and will be socially stripped of your validity. if those around you are female, you will be compared and found wanting. your flawed way of thinking will cause you to second-guess your own certainties and seek the advice of outside sources for nearly everything you do. you can choose to be independent of these rules- if you don’t mind being excluded from the protection of society’s empathetic glare. “where would you be if not for the sexual revolution and tampon commercials? where would you be if we did not tell you where you belong?”
our feminists are not your feminists, mother. our feminists are 15 and do not apologize to anyone for their pregnancies and bad credit. our feminists don’t wear bras and they don’t play with matches. our feminists are stark and shaking silhouettes in the night, not quite ready to give it up. we want to hate each other like men hate us.
but we need them to tell us how.